I know I’m not using my tumblr anymore, so…

Day One: Big Bang Song That Made You A Fan

Day Two: Favorite Big Bang Song 

Day Three: Favorite Big Bang Photoshoot

Day Four: Favorite G-Dragon Hairstyle

Day Five: Favorite Taeyang Eye Smile

Day Six: Favorite Daesung Eye Smile

Day Seven: Favorite Seungri ‘Panda Eyes’ Picture

Day Eight:  Favorite TOP Outfit

Day Nine: Favorite Big Bang Pairing 

Day Ten: Favorite Award Show Photo

Day Eleven: Favorite Big Bang MV

Day Twelve: Favorite Wink from the Come To Play Episode

Day Thirteen: A Possible First Girlfriend for Taeyang & Why?

Day Fourteen: Big Bang Member You Would Date and/or Marry

Day Fifteen: Big Bang Member You’d Like To Be Your Best Friend

Day Sixteen: Big Bang Member You Would Want To Be Your Sibling

Day Seventeen: Big Bang Song That Means A Lot to You or Speaks to You

Day Eighteen: Favorite Big Bang Member & Your Favorite Picture of Them

Day Nineteen: Interview/Song/MV/etc. That Made You Fall For Your Bias

Day Twenty: Favorite Song Produced/Written By G-Dragon 

Day Twenty-One: Favorite Fancam 

Day Twenty-Two: Favorite Big Bang Solo Song

Day Twenty-Three: Favorite Big Bang Feature in a Song/MV/etc.

Day Twenty-Four:  Whatever You Want!

Day Twenty-Five: Favorite Clip From Big Bang TV

Day Twenty-Six: Favorite Big Bang Performance

Day Twenty-Seven: Favorite Dorky/Funny Picture

Day Twenty-Eight: Favorite Big Bang Concept

Day Twenty-Nine: A Song by Big Bang & ? – Your Dream Collaboration

Day Thirty: Why Are You A VIP?

I consider myself as a limitless person, not in every aspect, but in major aspects that I believe others to be limited. I don’t listen to the same pop music, I don’t just read a book of specific genre, I don’t do the same stuffs everyday, trying to gain at least new experiences whenever I can grasp one.

In other specifics, I’m limited, not because of myself, but because of the external factors that limits my freedom. I am a very liberated person, not the sense of liberation that everyone seem to comprehend. I do things my way, I do them exactly how I wanted them to be. For me, mediocrity is just the same as ‘enough’, but I would prefer ‘enough’ whenever situation arises. I am a perfectionist but there are things that you just can’t do perfectly. Limits, I’m telling.

It was a very wise move for me to devote my whole day for the sake of academics, one thing that I haven’t done before, but then, I haven’t embraced the wholeness of it because I was limited. I lack materials, I lack concentration, I lack motivation. And sometimes, I don’t really think about its significance, but pondering more about it, I guess you can’t fully liberate yourself when the world around you tends to conspire against you.

There are more sublime things that are comparable to what I’m doing. It may be a very shallow thing to be hindered by insufficiency of pictures or pegs whenever I’m designing something for school or for whenever, but in the greater scheme of things, it is also difficult to graduate if you’re hindered by bitchy school staffs, paper problems, technical stuffs and academics. In a brighter explanation, you yourself may be excellent within yourself, but if the environment and the surroundings try to put their weight on you, you’re still going to end up limited.

It may be just the inner mechanisms of life, but being a limitless person, or considering myself limitless is already a great advantage versus others who limit themselves, yet still limited by humanity.

I am limitless.

I’m not a very great story teller. But for some reasons, just recently, I considered and thought about taking up Creative Writing at UP Diliman. It’s not that I underestimate my current degree, but I just don’t know what’s my direction right now. Not too much about drama, but I don’t think I’ve grown significantly over the course of my 4-year college education. I just thought that I can do what I’m doing right now, and I don’t actually credit my school for it. Well maybe I’m just not weighing everything that I’ve gained. I have pessimistic tendencies sometimes.

I’ve been struggling too much internally. I’m currently living my life at ease, easy-peasy, not having a lot of trouble about deadlines, grades or something. I’m just going with the flow, which makes me think about it sometimes. “Am I doing the right thing?” “Should I be exerting more effort than what I am supposed to exert?” They thought I’m just that cool superhuman, that I can still do fun stuffs while my real academic schedule is on the verge of spilling out of the calendar. And then it comes to this point where I ask myself, “Is this different from being irresponsible?”

I’m not a very responsible person, and I know it. I don’t exactly do the things that they tell me. I act by my own impulse whenever I feel like it, but there are some awkward moments when I just get quiet, then I think about the next things. About what’s gonna happen in the nearer future, just a matter of days, or months to be precise. I’m not responsible but I see to it that the outcome of my actions should be worthwhile enough for everyone’s good. It should benefit everyone. And then smoothly like a very sharp luck, it goes right, and then I ask myself again, “Is this different from being irresponsible?” “Is it just a matter of luck?”

Contemplating about the results of my highly complex life, I can actually say that I’m a pretty lucky guy. Though most of the times I don’t feel the luck, I can actually recall the things that makes me more luckier than others. I have the skills, the talent, the machine, the thinking, the capability, the et ceteras, and yet, I’m not taking good advantage of it. I’m just letting it slip. Maybe I should start stepping out of my comfort zone, try and motivate my friends and my classmates, most importantly, I myself should start pedaling forward towards the straight line that leads to the finish goal. For exactly a month before school year ends, I should at least feel like I’m a genuine student, that I study, that I do my responsibilities, that I live the way I want to be, not pushing myself too far to pleasure, not pushing myself too far to problems.

I am a student after all, is this different from being irresponsible?