September 23, 2014
20 Facts

I haven’t been creatively thinking lately that’s why I respond to these ‘hyped’ tags, and try to pour my heart into thinking about them just for teh lulz of it, lol.

1. I love books and literature, but I super hateyoung adult fiction. I acquired more than 50 books just this year 

2. I love Starbucks, and drinks in general more than food.

3. I currently have 13,800 songs on my iTunes, and I consider myself a musical genius with absolute pitch. I’m not a good singer though.

4. I love K-Pop (BIGBANG and 2NE1 specifically), and I can read, write and speak little Korean as well.

5. I am highly introverted, and socially awkward, I can do so much more things productively when I’m all by myself. I really get exhausted during social functions even if I don’t move much.

6. I love long walks, like seven-kilometer-long walks, rather than riding a public transpo.

7. Rainy days put me in too much good vibes.

8. Trains and railway stations are one of my weirdest fascinations.

9. I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, haven’t ever. I don’t smoke as well.

10. I don’t eat vegetables, except squash and some other tasty veggies.

11. I am very clingy and attached to my closest friends, I actually have separation anxieties. (You guys know who you are.)

12. I super hate overly hyped stuff (like these tags lol), whether it be a movie, a song, a fashion statement, or lifestyle. Extreme horror movies can make me laugh super hard more than cheap humor and funny viral videos.

13. I still wear my shorts from Grade 3 for my outfit choices.

14. I almost died from a bacterial infection when I was about 12 or 13 years old, (see also, My Nose).

15. I don’t check messages a lot, on my phone, on Facebook, or email, so I consider myself extremely passive.

16. I am very judgmental, pessimistic and perfectionist.

17. I am very strict with my philosophies and choices in life, I’m not easily swayed by judgments and I don’t get influenced easily.

18. I can strongly sense things, like if I want to buy something, I can actually feel if I will eventually have that something, or not, no matter how big or small that thing is.

19. My IQ used to be 147 (maybe because I’m a menopausal baby lol), and I may be considered to have intellectual giftedness. I don’t know my current IQ as I haven’t reassessed.

20. My name is Joseph Mazán Acena, 2NE1 years old… and yes guys, for those who are not aware, I’m a Jr. (Junior). And I consider myself super lucky that I live in Manila City.

September 16, 2014

I’ve been attempting to compose blog posts for the past months, but whenever I reach a certain point in my post, maybe about a paragraph or such, I impulsively delete everything and unthink about what I was thinking about anymore.

Some time before, I can write fluidly about abstract topics that interest me but now I can’t seem to write anything. I shall find some quiet time this week and just try to make my mind stop farting.

My mind feels very rusty. I’ve been working nonstop nowadays because of the workload. Too much overtimes and whatnots, but I’m thankful that I don’t complain, or I don’t really compromise myself. My work is pure two-dimensional. No creativity, no art, no music, no color. It’s just that. But it’s fine, I have to milk myself for more books and to pay for Kafka as well.

I shall not let myself get rusty. Let’s do this.

September 14, 2014
New Tumblr Theme

I’m currently in the process of coding and stuff, and this is not a very good way to end Sundays so I’ll stop now and probably read some Murakami before I sleep.

July 14, 2014
The Rain

Then I was thinking oh my God shit, the music is on, uploading this is taking so long ohhhh error. I miss coffee, I want to drink later, my tumbler with three-day old, gross. Spoiled! Like soy latte. And this hard drive is slow, what it’s a gift. Peeeee! It’s 3:52 in the morning, I will be sleepy later. Work, oh computers and restricted internet. I smell the tumbler. Shoot the rain, the train how to commute. Cab I’m lost what is LRT, and how to get there quickly. The iPod syncs what! A storm. This doomed person. It’s cold I want coffee no, I can’t sleep acid on my tummy. I keep on thinking about memory cards and laptops. I should save! Money dearest of them all, give me all the books I want. Then Fully Booked Saturday morning. Friends? SO excited. And Korean. and… and……. Oh George Orwell. I’m.

July 6, 2014

Promotions for the 10th WEST A Sector Conference #IsangDekada #BiggestAndBestWestASectorconEver

June 27, 2014

버스커 버스커 - 봄바람

June 13, 2014
Creative CV / Resume for June 2014

Creative CV / Resume for June 2014

April 30, 2014

What I’m doing at the moment. I’ve been getting closer with my tea sets, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman by Haruki Murakami, and A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin.

April 30, 2014
The Alley

I was walking some other night on a dark alley. There was a big house on my left. The lights were on, but only a few seconds after looking at it, the lights coming out of the third floor had been put off. Well, not my problem. There was a huge straight wall guarding my right. It’s about six-feet tall and it would be easy for me to try and reach the top with my hands if I jumped. But I didn’t. I continued walking when I saw a cat. I was not sure if it’s a cat since it was as big as a cat, but it could pass for a huge sewer rat. The lighting was not so good since the street lights can only emit so little. My cellphone could illuminate the street brighter than that street light, I thought. I’m not particularly scared or disgusted by the creature anyway, so I let it pass. I turned on my iPod and scrolled to Enya through the artists. Good, Orinoco Flow. Something that would calm my nerves. I’m not very jumpy but I saw another cat-like rat, or was it a rat-like cat running in front of me. I almost fell, but then I let it pass again. I was thinking, it was nothing. It’s just a cat… or a rat, so I continued walking. By this time, my heart was pounding like calm and repetitive knocks on the door, without too much sense of urgency. I shall not be scared, I shall not be scared. I formulated an instant mantra inside my brain, mixing with the music I’ve been playing through my headphones. Should I try looking forward then?

Maybe I’m too pessimistic of a person. All these years, I used to walk in a slouched posture while looking downwards, or maybe it was something that I retained unconsciously when our church priest told us that monks practiced walking while looking on their feet. That way, they have freed themselves from the temptations of looking at people and making bad prejudgments about them. Then I thought about monks. Not that they’re bald or they wear something pure white or gray and they move with eccentricity, but monks creep me out a little. I would even die a bit if I see a monk right now, so I continued walking without looking forward.

By this time, my heart is pounding a bit louder, like a sub-woofer playing disco music on a dark empty room. I’m trying to walk faster and I turned the volume so loud it drowned my heartbeats. Then I remembered this movie, that supernatural creatures can also intercept through audio devices, so I creeped out a little bit more. I’m dead scared that moment but I continued on, pushing another mantra inside my already chaotic and dead-scared brain. This will pass, this will pass. Please God, this will pass. Then I closed my eyes. And just a millisecond before I closed my eyes, I saw a foot, walking in the opposite direction. By impulse, I opened my eyes, and looked behind me. There was nothing. Not even the street lights. Not even a faint trace of the alley I was walking through. My heart would stop in a minute if I don’t trick my head thinking that everything was just a delusion. I reverted my vision to my feet, and continued to walk, tons faster now.

Just then, another cat, now I’m certain it was a cat, ran and sat on my foot making me halt for an instant. The cat was silently and ever so carefully lifting its head towards me. It was slow, like dead crawling so I avoided being caught up with its eyes. I looked quickly upwards and saw a bulb. I believe it was a street light hanging just above me, but I was not sure. It made me feel a bit more calm, though, and it gave me this sense of belonging that everything already came back to normal. Then I figured out I should continue and walk on, but when I looked downwards again, the same cat was staring at me. Staring deep into my eyes, like there is a passage inside it, and the most magnificent cat food was waiting inside. In a few seconds, the cat’s eyes turned bigger and bigger, so fast that in a minute, its eyes turned bigger than her face. I tried to wag her off my foot and ran. I was crying. My other slipper gave up and left me on my own. The other one became more of a problem so I threw it also. I ran and ran, and was crying until I tripped on to a small stump. It hurt real bad, but I didn’t fall so I had nothing else to do, but to try and run a bit faster. I was scared to death. So scared that nothing could ever scare me more than that particular experience. I was running, knowing that something was definitely wrong. That wouldn’t have happened in the real world. I was not sure how it started but it would probably be the moment I entered this alley, or if playing Orinoco Flow on this exact part of the world switched another orbit that enabled me to travel to this scary part I wouldn’t want to be a part of.

Right! Orinoco Flow. I reached for my iPod. Just in time for stopping the music, I closed my eyes. I don’t know how long I closed my eyes but when I woke up, I’m on the same alley. I was breathing heavily when I looked to my left. There it is, the house. All the lights were open, then suddenly, the lights from the third floor had been put off. I turned around, and never tried walking through that same alley, ever again.

April 24, 2014
Lamoxtra 973.18

Nakatulala ako sa langit. Gabi na’t madilim. Naririnig ko paminsan ang mga lamok na lumalapit sa aking mga tainga, ngunit pilit kong hinahayaan. Subukan nilang pumasok at papalakpakan ko sila hanggang sa mga katawan nila’y rumupok, masira’t maligo sa sarili nilang mga dugo. Hindi naman siguro masyadong morbid bilang mga lamok lamang sila. Mga lamok na may sariling pananaw sa buhay, may sariling batas, at may sariling paraan kung paano mabuhay.

Isipin mo, matagal na din pala akong nakatingala, at paunti-unti nang sumasakit ang aking mga leeg. Wala akong makita, ni piraso ng bituin, o kahit man lang kapiranggot na anyo mula sa mga ulap… nang maisip ko din. Nasaan ang buwan? Bakit mailap sa akin ang mga bagay na gusto kong makita? Nasaan ang mga tuldok ng liwanag? Ano nga ba ang ginagawa ko dito sa labas? Nakatingin na ang mga tao sa akin, mga taong may iba-ibang lakad at hangarin. Yung iba’y para makauwi sa kanilang mga tirahan, kumain dahil kailangan na nilang maghapunan, o magpa-load o bumili ng Sarsi, habang ako’y nakatingala lamang. Nakatingala sa mga bagay na walang kapararakan, at walang patutunguhan. Nakatingala sa mga bagay na hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang kahihinatnan sa huli, sa mga bagay na nais kong makita, ngunit kahit anong pilit ko’y wala.

Nasaan na nga ba ang mga lamok? Pati ba sila’y mailap na rin? O baka sa kanilang mga pananaw, batas, at paraan, ay unti unti na nila akong pinapalakpakan.